Betrayed Kiss

 

I am in a season where I am learning a lot about the things that my heart struggles with when I lose sight of Jesus. It hasn't been the most enjoyable season, either. I have been learning that my heart, when not in tune with Christ, it is ugly and selfish. Usually full of pride, greed, selfishness, sin and just plain ugliness. 

Can anyone else relate with me in that thinking? 

As I sat contemplating and asking the Lord what it was that He wanted to teach me through this season, I was reminded and brought back to the stories of the disciples: particularly Judas.

"And as they were reclining at the table and eating, Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me, one who is eating with me." They began to be sorrowful and say to him one after another, 'Is it I?" He said to them, "It is one of the twelve, one who is dipping bread into the dish with me. For the Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born." (Mark 14:18-21 ESV)

As I read this story, I am instantly placing myself at this exact table. I imagine myself, sitting at the table, room dimly lit by candlelight, Jesus just a few seats down from me. I imagine the room being filled with many conversations of the day's adventures, laughter filling the room, and then all of a sudden, the room growing silent as Jesus begins to speaks. I can feel the tension filling the room and I am there, heart completely laid out on the table, desperately pleading and asking Jesus "Is it I?"   

Kind of chilling isn't it to put yourself in that same position as the disciples were? I know it makes me take a good look at myself and my heart. 

But then there's Judas. 

"And immediately, while he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders. Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, 'The one I will kiss is the man. Seize him and lead him away under guard." And when he came, he went up to Him at once and said "Rabbi!" and he kissed Him. And they laid hands on him and seized him." (Mark 14:43-46 ESV) 

Now if you read throughout the other stories of the Gospels, in Luke 22:3, you will notice how it states that Satan had entered Judas, basically possessing him, to go to the chief priests, turning Jesus in for return for money. Satan used Judas to betray Jesus. Then in verse 22:48, upon Judas kissing Jesus, Jesus looks at Judas and says "Why would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?" I can't help but to wonder if there was disappointment and sadness in His voice when He questioned Judas. Jesus knew. He knew the entire time who was going to betray Him. And not a single time did Jesus react in anger towards Judas. Not a single time. 

As far as we can tell from what scriptures tell us, Judas saw all the miracles that Jesus performed. He was in the boat when Jesus calmed the storm. He saw Jesus turn water into wine. He helped pick up the leftovers after Jesus fed the 5000 with five loaves and two fish. He must have been standing there when Lazarus came out of the tomb. Not only that, he heard Jesus give the Sermon on the Mount. He listened to his parables. Judas was there when Peter said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

He heard it all.
He saw it all.
He walked with Christ every day.
He was one of Jesus’ handpicked men.
He knew the Son of God personally.

 And another thing that catches me- No one ever suspected him. Peter never said to John, “Hey, that guy Judas seems a little shifty to me.” And as mentioned in the above scripture, when Jesus openly predicted that someone would betray him, not a single person at that table pointed at Judas and said, “He’s a traitor!”

But Jesus knew. 

And here's the thing, friends; what happened to him could happen to me. What he did, I could do just as much. If I think otherwise, then I have missed the point of this story. Judas is a lot like us and we’re a lot like him. In fact, the more religious we are, the more like Judas we are. After all, you can’t get much more religious than being an apostle. He was as “in” as any person could ever be.

And yet he betrayed the Lord.

This story makes me ask the hard, gut-wrenching question... Have I ever betrayed Jesus? 

And I think it would be a bold lie if I said that I haven't. There have been times, I'm sure where my doubt has been more of a betrayal than anything else. Or when I deliberately chose to walk towards something sinful instead of choosing Jesus. That's betrayal, right? 

There’s a little Judas in all of us. If we think anything different, then we’re more like Judas than we know. But what I also know is that Jesus is a loving, forgiving, merciful and kind Father. He loved Judas even in the midst of the betrayal. He loved Judas that night at the table just as much as He did the night Judas betrayed Him with a kiss. Jesus still died for him. And He does the same thing for us, no matter how much our hearts can sometimes resemble Judas'. 

We are made whole. 

I wish Judas would have known how much He was loved by Jesus even in the midst of his sin. I believe he is with Jesus though, serving Him in eternity. 

You are loved.